I have no idea who these people are. But this looks like the quintessential food-pusher, family picnic nightmare!

So, has the annual summer family reunion arrived?

For better or for worse, and usually a little bit of both.

And tightly woven into these family affairs seems to be the ubiquitous piles and platters of edibles not on your dietary plan.  Am I right?

And the food pushers who peddle them.  You know what I mean.

What a health-minded woman like you to do?

My client Janette (not her real name to protect her identity from curious web-surfing relatives) wrote a few days ago for some last words of advice before heading off for a week of family gathering.  Actually, it seems more of my clients than not have had big family affairs this summer, the kind that usually present themselves only at Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Between you and me, I've waded through more than one landmine -loaded gathering of relatives myself, and had some words of advise for Janette.  Here for your benefit – and Janette's permission – is our correspondence – along with some strategies for success.

Hi Everyone,

So the Costco trip is done, I have a refrigerator packed with food for 14 ready to load into coolers. DH and I start our week with our kids tomorrow by supplying the first meal (nachos supreme for them, beans rice salsa and veggies for me), breakfast the next day, and staples for the week.

I was not the happiest camper doing the Costco trip with my daughter as she efficiently added all the kinds of things we bought in years past – lots of SAD*. I kept thinking of which mason jars of grains I will take and I did slip in an extra jar of garden salsa as she frowned and said REALLY, TWO?? I said 14 people for a week? She said ALL EATING SALSA EVERY MEAL? I grinned "ya never know!" Hmmm…

Here is my dilemma. I had such a "recommitment" this past Monday and a good solid week of healthy eating, that I want to continue same all next week since I have been so psyched this week. Why not? Do I have a better time to blast through my 4 year plateau?

BUT… I don't want to set up a failure situation by being unrealistic about the challenges of being with my family and the challenges have already started. With 7 kids and SOs or spouses, you can imagine the  undercurrents – ugh. And the margaritas! And the constant plenty! OMG!

BUT I don't want to drag my old tired stories (my family is so difficult re food for me) into a new day and not do the best I can do. Who cares about margaritas when everyone else is drinking them and they look so …special? Or when my son brings one over to me (as he did another year in the past) and hands me one and says "ok, time to toast this beautiful woman" do I not drink it? I don't have it in me to do that.

So yes I am going to go with the flow, it's my vacation, soak up all those impressions of my beautiful and growing family and let go of the 100 projects I run in my regular life – but where does that leave me with food? I have to plan! I don't want a week of anything goes! I also don't want to undo this week.

Ack! Any last minute thoughts?

Janette

Here is my reply to Janette:

Janette, it sounds like you are looking for the solid phrase that will keep you on your current trajectory and permission for margaritas at the same time. Of course! Universal dilemma!

Last minute thoughts:

1) Beware of food pushers, who have their own agendas that have nothing to do with you, your life, your preferences. When you change, it shifts things around you and can be unsettling to others. This very thing keeps women stuck year after year because they'd rather not upset the cart. So things stay the same.

2) I never walk out of Costco with LESS than 2 jugs of salsa, and there are only 2 of us! Granted, I don't get there very often. But what people might not get is for you it is a vegetable, not a tiny splash of red on the end of a chip. When I have a bowl of rice/beans/salsa (like yesterday late morning) there is just about as much salsa (as long as it's mild, which the Costco stuff is) as rice and beans.

3) Remember to avoid trying to explain and rationalize to everyone else why you're eating as you are. Enjoy all your mountains of food with gusto, make it look delicious and fun (which it is) – attitude is everything! And if asked, just say it's working for you, you're loving your food, have more energy and are having no complaints about trimming down.

4) Find one or two occasions to have a margarita as that sounds important. The sugar is far better than having piles of chips and dips! Decide which choices you will be making so that YOU are in control, rather than thinking "I hope I don't have any margaritas". See what I'm saying?

5) Family dynamics seem to have a life of their own. This is also why (as I suggested earlier) get as far into the week as you can before making exceptions, if indeed you are. If you start with a landslide, it's far harder to crawl back. This has been an effective strategy for me on more than one occasion. For example, the candy at Christmas. Visiting family, if I waited until day 3 to have a piece or two, knowing I was returning home on day 4, damage was minimal.

Have a wonderful time, remember the food is just part of the process and enjoy all the fun of being around your family!

Thinking of you,
Lani

In a nutshell? Plan ahead;  don't leave it to chance!  Pack more good, whole satisfying food than you think you'll need so you'll always have something nutritious, energizing, and slimming to eat.  That's half the battle.  And plan your indulgences so you don't find yourself grasping at the twigs on the slide down the calorie cliff.

*SAD:  standard American diet

© Lani Muelrath image:  jennaruthclark